Important Recall (maybe)
Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 5:15 pm
My dear mum sent this along. It really doesn't read like Jehovah's Witness material so one of them has apparently tweaked it to fit for them. Have fun with it. The only part I find it necessary to respond to is the first sentence. And that is with this:
a) Show this "maker" exists
b) Show there is a "recall"
if you can do that, then...
c) Why would I trust this entity to get it right the second time around if he has so obviously demonstrated he couldn't get it right in the past?
a) Show this "maker" exists
b) Show there is a "recall"
if you can do that, then...
c) Why would I trust this entity to get it right the second time around if he has so obviously demonstrated he couldn't get it right in the past?
***
IMPORTANT RECALL
The Maker of all human beings (JEHOVAH GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed. Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, Jehovah God, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jehovah God will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Long Suffering
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faith
8. Mildness
9. Self Control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING:Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jehovah through Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped into everlasting destruction. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter paradise so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention.
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail' through his son Jesus.