Religious News/Quotes of the Day

[Dardedar]

Barbie gets ordained



(RNS) With her careers as veterinarian, astronaut and U.S. president behind her, Barbie has at last found her true calling: as a second-career Episcopal priest.

The 11.5-inch-tall fictional graduate of Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley, Calif., has donned a cassock and surplice and is rector at St. Barbara’s-by-the-Sea in (where else?) Malibu, Calif.

She arrived at the church fully accessorized, as is Barbie’s custom. Her impeccably tailored ecclesiastical vestments include various colored chasubles (the sleeveless vestments worn at Mass) for every liturgical season, black clergy shirt with white collar, neat skirt and heels, a laptop with prepared sermon and a miniature, genuine Bible.

Apparently a devotee of the “smells and bells” of High Church tradition, the Rev. Barbie even has a tiny thurible, a metal vessel used for sending clouds of incense wafting toward heaven.

Link

[Dardedar]

[Dardedar]

"Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis covering the abdominal area."

Link

[L.Wood]

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[Dardedar]

This is why it is getting harder and harder for The Onion to do it's job. Note, this is NOT from the Onion:

***
Iranian Cleric Says Promiscuous Women Are to Blame for Earthquakes

Associated Press

BEIRUT -- A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.

Iran is one of the world's most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric's unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.

"What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?" Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon
Friday. "There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes."

Fox News

[Doug]

DOUG
We don't see a correlation between Muslim devotion and lack of earthquakes. California has the largest Muslim population in the U.S. by state, and it is earthquake-ridden.
See here.

North Dakota, Vermont, and Wisconsin have the fewest earthquakes of any states in the U.S. Where are all the Muslims warding off the quakes? Florida is among the lowest too (45th), and it has many uncovered women on the beaches.
See here.

[Dardedar]

"I attended an evangelical seminary. I remember one student breathlessly returning from a mission trip to Africa where he claimed their group had cured hundreds of blindness through touch and prayer alone. They had traveled from village to village curing all as they went. I exclaimed that this was truly a miracle, and when they showed the world the documentary evidence millions would convert. At which point, of course, he became sullen, since he had no proof. He sputtered "God does not work that way" but I could tell that he suddenly realized that it did not happen - he just wanted it to have happened so badly he and his cohorts had made it up."
Link

[L.Wood]

Chinese Christian filmmaker claims he found the original Ark...or at least he's learned how to profit from Fundies

Benjamin Radford
LiveScience's Bad Science Columnist

Wed Apr 28, 12:45 pm ET

A Chinese Christian filmmaker claims to have found the final resting place of Noah's Ark on Turkey's Mount Ararat.

Yeung Wing-Cheung says he and a team from Noah's Ark Ministries found the remains of the Ark at an elevation of about 12,000 feet (3,658 meters). They filmed inside the structure and took wood samples that were later analyzed in Iran. He claims the wood was carbon-dated to around the reputed time of Noah's flood, which would be remarkable since organic material should have long since disintegrated in the last 5,000 years.

Yeung said that he is "99 percent certain that it is Noah's Ark based on historical accounts, including the Bible and local beliefs of the people in the area, as well as carbon dating."

..........story is here.

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[Dardedar]

[Doug]

LONDON (RNS) A Christian street preacher in Britain will stand trial for telling a passerby -- in earshot of a policewoman -- that God views homosexuality as a sin.

Police arrested Dale McAlpine, a 42-year-old Baptist, under Britain's Public Order Act 1986, which forbids "using threatening, abusive or insulting words ... tending to and causing harassment, alarm or distress."

McAlpine told The Daily Telegraph newspaper that he was arrested after a part-time police officer said she heard him reciting a list of "sins" against God, including blasphemy, drunkenness and same-sex relationships.

The preacher denied mentioning homosexuality, but he did concede he had told a passing shopper that it was a sin in the eyes of God.

At a magistrates court hearing in Workington, England, on Friday (April 30), McAlpine pleaded not guilty to the public order offense charge but was arraigned for trial at an unspecified date.

"My freedom was taken away on the hearsay evidence of someone who disliked what I said, and I was charged under a law that doesn't apply," he said.

...McAlpine's arrest comes days after a top British judge was criticized for ruling that Christian beliefs are not entitled to special protection under the laws of the nation.

See here.

[Doug]

DOUG writes:
This guy is inspirational. If I could do just 1/70th as well as this guy, I could lose weight, save money, and be holy.

Man Claims to Have Had Nothing to Eat or Drink in 70 Years
May 3, 2010


An Indian man, regarded as a “breatharian,” claims to have gone seven decades without any food or water, and under more than week of observation, has shown no adverse effects to being deprived of both.

The man, who claims he is sustained by the elixir of a goddess, left home at 7 and became a wandering holy man, and scientists think that his abilities could help save lives. Whether or not the claim of 70 years is an exaggeration, it is still remarkable to show no signs of hunger or dehydration for a week. Doctors plan to observe him for 15 days.
“If his claims are verified, it will be a breakthrough in medical science,” the director of the Defense Institute of Physiology and Allied Sciences told the Daily Telegraph. “We will be able to help save human lives during natural disasters, high altitude, sea journeys and other natural and human extremities. We can educate people about the survival techniques in adverse conditions with little food and water or nothing at all.”

...This man has already been recorded going 10 days without water. The claim of 70 days years may be a little far-fetched, but he still may be useful to science...


"My robe is secretly made of fruit roll-ups..."

See here.

[Dardedar]

Ted Haggard Formally Opens St. James Church In Colorado Springs

"Ted Haggard and his wife Gayle formally incorporated their new church, the St. James, in Colorado Springs on Tuesday.

The opening of the new church represents the latest step in a revival of sorts for the controversial former leader of New Life Church, a conservative megachurch with 14,000 parishioners."

Link

[Dardedar]

From: Bartcop's most recent rants:

***
When a state has 53% Evangelicals it can't be anything other than a really fucked up place.

USA Today put out an article called "Topography of Religion" which was a map of the U.S.and
breakdown of each state by the religion of all it's population including all religions. The following is
a list of states where the Evangelicals take the Bible literally.

There are more of these crazies in these particular "red" states than any other group.
These are the assholes who still think Bush is great.

State Electoral Votes

Oklahoma..........53% ..........7
Arkansas...........53% ..........6
Tennessee.........51% ........11
Kentucky..........49% ..........8
Alabama...........49% ..........9
Mississippi........47% ..........6.
David L


And notice those are the states that need science and logic the most.

These are the donkeys who are braying the loudest for tax cuts for the super-rich.
These are the donkeys who are braying the loudest against affordable health care.
These are the donkeys who are braying the loudest against sex education while leading
the nation in unwed mothers and teen pregnancy. (Sarah Palin, call your office!)

You'd think, with television and the Internet, that these brainless rubes would finally wake up and
see that the rest of the world laughing at them - but they're so PROUD of their damned ignorance.

[Doug]

Laura Derbigney tries to bring a little of her Hispanic upbringing into her family life.

"I like to shop at Hispanic-owned stores," she said. "I make tacos, I make enchiladas, I make flautas."

But not on the weekends, according to a court order.

She can't prepare pork or other traditional foods on weekends. She can't drive or use electricity on Saturdays. In fact, a judge has mandated that this Hispanic Catholic from Chicago follow Orthodox Jewish restrictions during the Sabbath.

The reason? Her new husband, recently divorced from a strictly observant Jewish woman. A divorce court has ruled that the seven-year-old son of that marriage must live an Orthodox lifestyle even while in the care of his father and step-mother, according to an NBC Chicago report.

The boy's mother has even asked that Derbigney and her husband buy the boy's food from a specific grocery store, on suspicion that he was fed a non-kosher hot dog at his father's house.

Joel Brodsky, Derbigney's attorney, is incensed. From NBC:

"Just because you're divorced, the court can't say how to live your lives or what grocery store you can go to," Brodsky said. "The next step is going to be a Muslim father with custody. During the next visitation, is the mother going to have to wear a burka? That's where we're heading. Divorce courts have to stop getting in the way of religion."

See here.

[Dardedar]

Looks interesting:

God Hates You, Hate Him Back: Making Sense of The Bible

Review
"His acid wit and delightfully humorous analysis of Biblical testament will have your neck cramping from continuously nodding in agreement. He meticulously scrutinises the Bible, chapter by thrilling chapter, articulating the many contradictions and indeed misconceptions that the religious conveniently overlook." --Rusty Lime, November 16, 2009

"This book absolutely crucifies the argument for a benevolent creator. What's more, it uses the creationist's most-cited source to do it." --Daily Atheist, November 02, 2009

Product Description
'God Hates You, Hate Him Back' makes the ultimate case for the claim that the God of the Bible is the most wicked character in the pages of history. With a wit as dry as a martini, and the cross examination techniques of a seasoned lawyer, CJ Werleman lays out all sixty-six chapters of the Bible to present an irrefutable argument that indeed God hates us all. If you have never read or never fully understood The Bible then you will do no better than this unique, comedic, 21st century summary of the greatest story ever sold, or in Werleman's own words 'never read'.

'God Hates You, Hate Him Back' provides you with an arsenal of Biblical facts, stories, mythology and assertions to ensure you victory in your next religious debate.

Arguably the most unique, certainly most entertaining, rendition of the Bible ever told!

Amazon

[Dardedar]

In U.S., Increasing Number Have No Religious Identity

PRINCETON, NJ -- Americans have become increasingly less tied to formal religion in recent decades, with the percentage saying they do not have a specific religious identity growing from near zero in the 1950s to 16% this year and last.



Gallop

[Dardedar]

Good stuff:

15 Awful Examples of Christian Propaganda



I'm a little skeptical of that one.

[Doug]

I'm a little skeptical of that one.

DOUG
A little? There is no way that dates from the early 40's.

NOTE: I just went to the link, and the guy said he found out it's a fake.

Unlike this one:

[Dardedar]

"In a world where religion is traditionally free from ridicule, out comes a book that clearly steps over the line and smashes the protective veil that surrounds all of the lies, myths, and fairy tales. McGaffer wastes no time in hammering religion with logic, crude humor, and blatant disrespect. Does God Get Diarrhea demonstrates the extreme absurdity of Christianity by tearing apart the Bible's asinine claims, critiquing the miracles of Christ, and exposing God as a hateful, bloodthirsty, mass murderer. Not for the faint of heart, this book definitely doesn't beat around the burning bush when it comes to tolerating barbaric ideals and primitive creation theories. Does God Get Diarrhea delivers what many non-believers have been too fearful to say for thousands of years with a huge twist of robust humor. The title itself is enough to raise the eyebrows of even the most liberal minded individuals and is guaranteed to offend almost everyone. Laugh your way through this book as you discover the gruesome reality of religion, the serious damage it has caused to our society, and the grim fate of a superstitious planet. Warning: This book contains graphic content, foul language, and reason. All of which can be hazardous to your health."

"Disgusting...an intolerant and insensitive rant unsuitable for anyone." - Reverend J.A. David, Pentecostal Minister

"Pure filth and toilet humor. McGaffer has a complete lack of respect for religion." - Joseph F., Christian Author and Pastor

"McGaffer will be first in line to have his head sliced off on Judgment Day, and I can't think of anyone more deserving." - Mark L., Christian Extremist

"Horribly offensive...this book should be banned from shelves." - Mary P., Sunday School Teacher

[Dardedar]

Well, this is comforting:

"The oil spill is part of prophecy," said Turner, the Louisiana minister. "The Bible prophesized hardships. If we believe the word of God is true — and we do — we also know that in addition to prophecying hardships he promised to take care of us." Link